Cooper here. On behalf of Dylan and Ginger, JV, Shara, Tristan, Bradford, Angela, and the many wonderful Swingsetters putting this trip together for you, I want to welcome you to paradise for Life on the Swingset’s eighth trip to Desire Resort Riviera Maya! Over the years, as we’ve grown, we’ve been able to twist the resort more and more into being the space we truly want it to be. That has meant more acceptance of bi men, alternative relationships, trans guests, and now gay couples. We are so pleased with what this trip has become as we enter this year. The number one thing that we’re proud of, though, is the respect that our people have for each other, for the staff, for the locals, for everybody. Respect is such an important attribute, and it is so frightfully rare in the world.
It would not be what it is without you, the newbies; you, the returning guests; you, the Desire vets, taking a chance with our merry band of hedonists!
Desire, for us, is about exploration and community. It’s about learning about ourselves, our likes, our dislikes, and things we had no idea we’d like. It’s about learning about our partners, our friends. Like camp, it’s that wonderful place where you can meet new people, bond intensely, and then have them as lifelong friends thereafter. I’ve never met a greater group of human beings than I encounter each year on this trip.
And they’re fucking sexy, too!
I encourage you to drink deeply in your time here, try new things, explore the edges of your comfort zone, knowing that if you don’t like something, it’s as simple as never doing it again (or just once more in case you did it wrong the first time) but if you DO like something, well, you may have discovered your new THING.
There will be moments of intense discovery, the wondrous ecstasy, and there will also be emotions and difficulty. It’s understandable that in a place with such emotional cache, we will all inevitably hit the feels. But when it happens, look around, you’re surrounded by people like you! People who will help if they can.
On this page, you’ll find a bit of a roadmap for your experience here. But remember, your Desire is like a choose your own adventure experience. Yours won’t look like anybody else’s, and that’s wonderful! Chart your own path, define this adventure for yourself!
Carpe Noctem – Seize the Night! Cooper S. Beckett
We hold three group chats on our Rocket Chat platform for our trips where your hosts can answer questions and give advice (and, let's be honest, goof around.) Chats usually last anywhere from 50 minutes to 90 minutes. You will be listening to the hosts, and can ask questions via chat.
We believe 100% that all consent should be enthusiastic hell yesses. This means that before you do anything, even as little as touching, for the first time, you must ask. If you are a yes for something, say yes, if you're a no, say no. If you're a maybe, say no. You 100% can change your mind at any time, even in the middle of sex. If someone says no to you, be gracious and generous, because they're taking care of themselves.
Consent is also not a constant. Just because you could touch someone/fuck someone yesterday doesn't mean they want your hand in their crotch as a greeting. Always ask. Ask until they tell you that you can stop asking.
If, at any time, we hear of consent violations, you will be talked to. We have never had a consent problem on our trips, but we are ever vigilant.
There aren't any official rules to govern how you play, who you play with, and what barriers you use. We, of course, recommend the most risk aware sex you can have, knowing the risks, and mitigating them as best you can with barriers. That said, you won't be shamed for playing at the barrier level you're comfortable with. Just be aware of your fluids.
Before you arrive, discuss with your partner(s) their comfort level about touch and fluids, and determine where you will play for the week. Before you play with anybody, have a conversation with them about their safer sex/risk aware sex practices, when they've been tested last, and make your decisions based on that information.
Most of our guests used condoms for all penetrative sex. Some of our guests use condoms and other barriers for oral sex. (Click here for the best saran wrap oral barrier!) Some don't have penetrative sex at all. One thing that many people don't know is that, even with washing, some infections and viruses can remain on sex toys, so we HIGHLY recommend you use condoms on all toys you're planning to share. If you're borrowing a toy from someone else, please use a condom on it unless they've explicitly told you that you don't have to, and you're comfortable with their status.
We've been told both by the resort and by bi guys who have attended in the past that this is one of the most bi friendly and exploration friendly trips they've ever been on/seen. There WILL be guys kissing, guys fucking, and more. Intolerance will not be tolerated.
As this is our eighth trip, a lot of people have known each other for a long time, and this is often the only time they get to spend together all year. While most of our group is incredibly outgoing and will welcome you in, you may have to approach and introduce yourself. Remember, you are your best advocate, so walk up and say hi!
It is explicitly not allowed at the bars, restaurants, or in the lobby. There is a designated play room off the disco, but sex is allowed throughout the resort, and you are likely to see it almost everywhere. Most sex happens up by the hot tub, on the beds by the pool, on the beach beds, or in rooms. If no one is having sex around you, you may want to consider whether you want to be the one that starts it, or if you should find another place. Please be mindful of those around you.
With the exception of the restaurants (see dress details in the side bar) and the lobby, you can be naked anywhere on the resort, including the beach. This is only what's allowed, however, and should not be considered a must. If you are more comfortable in a swimsuit, or tshirt and shorts, please feel free. Being naked outside for the first time can be overwhelming!
Yes. This is something to keep in mind while on the beach beds, lying naked, or having sex. All beaches in Cancun are public, so people can and will walk up and down the beaches, some with children. They are warned at either end of what they might see, yet they still do. This said, you should behave at your comfort level.
Pure and simply, this trip is 100% a la carte, and you should treat it that way. If things intrigue you, attend, if they don't, don't. If you're curious about a topic, but determine it's not for you, or you'd rather be somewhere else, no one will judge you for leaving and that event leader will not be saddened by it. You do you.
Some of our attendees get really into the theme night costumes, and go big every night with wildly prepared costumes that'd be right at home as convention cosplay. Some wear something on theme, or only participate a few times during the week. Some don't participate in the themes at all. No matter how you're dressed on theme nights, you will be just as welcome as everybody else.
Generally speaking, the themed portion of the evening runs from 7ish to 10ish (resort time always comes with an ish). As long as your costume covers your bits (see restaurant dress code for more info) you can wear yours to dinner. Some people love to show off their costume all evening, others put it on for ten minutes. Whatever you're comfortable with!
Yes. You should always be prepared with anything you might need for sex. You will be given a char travel bag and many people make theirs into makeshift kits to bring around. Also, if you want toys at the ready, bring those too.
Those who've been to Desire without our group will know the policy of the resort, that your phone camera should stay covered at all times. On our trips, we know that part of the wonderful thing is being able to revisit our memories through pictures.
Our official policy is that everybody in a picture must give consent to be in that picture, even people with their backs turned. So if you want to take pictures, be VERY aware of who is in the background. If you want to post an image to social media, everybody in that picture must give their consent for that. There are no exceptions to this rule.
If you see that someone has taken a picture, and you think you might be in that picture, you should feel free to ask them to see it, and if you are in it, they will crop you out or delete it. If they do not, please let a Swingset representative know.
Every day, from around 4pm until 7pm (ish) a large chunk of the resort guests congregate in the rooftop hot tub. (The tub is the size of a small pool, and can accomodate a lot of guests.) There is a swim up bar at the hot tub, thus, hot tub happy hour. If you want to meet people, to make dinner plans, to be voyeurs or exhibitionists, this is the place to be. Also, thanks to being later in the day, the Quintana Roo sun isn't as harsh.
Next to the hot tub are cubbies, where you can store your sex toys, robes, towels, shoes, etc. We've never had a problem with theft. Please don't claim the hot tub beds or chairs with your belongings, as other people may want to use them. If you are going to be “right back” to use them, then feel free to put your things on them.
Depending on what it is, like toothpaste, headache or cold medicine, odds are someone on the resort would be happy to share it with you. You can ping Rocket Chat, or put a post-it on the lobby window, ask a host, or just ask around. If you have something to share, please do. Remember, sharing is caring!
While the resort proclaims tipping isn't required, the staff does an amazing amount of work for us year after year. A good rule of thumb is to bring singles and tip people throughout the week. Leave money for your cleaning crew. Some people tip more, some less. Anything you tip them is appreciated.
Some of the rooms come with a specific beach bed, but the rest are up for grabs. You will have to speak to Rene on the beach early in the day if you'd like to reserve one. Unlike last year, beach beds are only reserved for the day so they cannot be hoarded for the week. If you would like a beach bed, but don't get up early, make friends with someone who has one. Sharing is caring.
There are things that all of us aren't into, and there are things that we're into that might make others blush or turn away in shock. We are an inclusive community on this trip, and encourage everybody to explore as they feel compelled. This is true with the caveat of being respectful to those around you. If you see something that shocks you, don't make a big deal out of it, don't shame the people doing it, remove YOURSELF from the area. Or just turn around. People will make the same concessions to your kinky dealios.
Yes! The resort itself has a number of coordinated tours, as well as boat rentals and snorkeling. Jim at CharTravel can also help you coordinate your off resort excursions. Often groups of people will want to do an excursion together, so talk to those around you to plan something great!
Only two events require signups, the group dinner and speed meet & greet, and both of these require them so we can get a (reasonably) accurate head count. You can sign up for these on this page. You can also sign up on resort, but TRY NOT to sign up day of.
The resort's water is filtered, but we would not recommend drinking the tap water as it has effected people in the past. There are bottles of water in your room fridge, and they'll be refilled daily. Some people choose to brush their teeth with the bottled water, some don't. All water at the bars and restaurants, as well as ice, and the food washing water is purified and perfectly safe to consume.
On the glass windows of the lobby, we have a post-it wall. Here you can write things you're looking for, things you want to do, missed connections, and more. By the end of the week it's both gloriously filthy and genuinely lovely.
Two restaurants, Sahlo (sometimes called the white restaurant) and Suki (the sushi place) take reservations, but sometimes you are able to walk-in. Reservations should be made early in the day at the restaurant. The lunch & dinner buffets (Tentazione and Arrecife) do not need reservations. If you are planning to eat at a more popular time (7:30-8:30) it may be more difficult to get seated.
We implemented the bead code three years ago as a helpful ice breaker. Your colored beads are not meant to replace conversation, and should not be seen as an invitation (except for the green one) but a means to start a conversation. Wear some, wear all, wear none. Up to you! Click the image below to expand it.
At night there are a lot of mosquitos and other bugs. We recommend bringing bug spray that you're comfortable with, as well as any medication you might take when bitten. Long pajama pants for night pizza isn't a bad idea either.
Check in time is 3pm. That said, since Saturday is a group turnover day, sometimes rooms will not be ready when you arrive. If that is the case, the resort will hold your luggage, and you are free to wander/eat/meet and greet. We recommend having a lightweight change of clothes in an easily accessible place for you to put on when you arrive (or if you're like some of us, at the airport.)
Desire is an amazing place with or without the Swingset. That said, we've cultivated a very specific open and accepting vibe in our group, best consent practices, and the like. Those at the resort around our trip do not necessarily practice the same. There will be a lot of Swingsetters on resort both before and after our week, so find out who else will be around and start the party early with them.
Transportation to and from the resort is included on our trip. You will receive travel vouchers via email. When you leave the airport, walk straight out, cross the first driveway to the transportation island. There you will find our transpo company. They will take you to the resort. You will also be given a travel time for your return to the airport. Be ready and checked out of the resort in time for your pickup.
Dylan here! Whether you're a makeout slut like me or not, please keep the following basic things in mind.
1 – If your mouth is on genitals and you intend to kiss someone else, please either rinse that mouth out thoroughly with a mouthwash containing serious amounts of alcohol (listerine for example) or actual shots of hard liquor (vodka for example), or have subsequent people explicitly opt in.
2 – Take care of your mouths in general! It's super easy to lose track of time and to end up dizzy from activity and want to drop in bed. Take the time to take care of your mouth, it will allow you to more happily allow your mouth to take care of others!
3 – If you end up with a cut, sore, or anything else with your mouth please get explicit opt-ins or temporarily opt out of makeouts. These things happen, it's a ok, andyou'll likely get opt-ins to LOTS of other things.
No! There is ample room for spectators and the bar is open. The play area will be roped off with only one entrance, and there will be no play across the rope line. Part of the intention is to provide safe and comfortable access to all, including those who are only interested in watching.
No! If you’re curious about bottoming (receiving), there will be a number of extremely capable and experienced service tops who will be happy to take you for as mild or wild of a ride as your interests may dictate. Explicit, informed and enthusiastic consent is always the theme.
A service top is an experienced top/dominant who enjoys kink enough that they’re happy to play without any kind of reciprocation or sexual gratification. They’re happy to top as a service as opposed to topping as part of a personal relationship. Our service tops have a wide variety of skills and interests, and are all people JV and Shara have played with personally. They’ll take the time to find out what you want and get you where you’d like to go.
Absolutely. All the service tops have some toys that are loaners, and are also happy to be mentors while you play with your partner. If you’re new to kink, we strongly recommend you come to the workshops on Monday afternoon. Most/all of the service tops will be there, along with the dungeon gear.
You may have already received an email from CARM transportation about your shuttle to and from the resort. If you have not, or if you'd like to get a head start, please use the link below to set up your transportation to and from the resort!
(I will continuously curate these and lock them down before Desire happens)
Privacy Warning: If you contribute, your Spotify tag will display next to your addition. If you want to submit anonymously, drop me a line @DylanTheThomas on Twitter or @DylanTheThomas@Swingset.Social on Mastodon and let me know!
Only a few events require signups, the group dinner, speed meet & greet, and the sushi event. These require a (reasonably) accurate head count. You can also sign up on resort, but TRY NOT to sign up day of.
Event Sign Up
As we get closer to the trip, as well as on resort, we like to have more granular chat room topics. Please put your Rocket Chat login(s) below and check which rooms to which you'd like to be added. The main #SwingsetDesire19 room will remain open.